Some ups and downers
I don’t know what’s going on with my life right now. I Feel like, I’m really happy and yet not happy at all. I feel like I have a major sense of tunnel vision. That’s why I like to smoke, it helps remind me of who I am and who I am not. I feel unsatisfied with my life right now. Jeremy works all the time and when he is not working I am working. We barely see each other and he isn’t even attracted to me right now, he told me.
I am lonely, and why? I’m in a relationship, it shouldnt be like this. added stress is living in a small, shitty apartment and working all ALL the time. i feel disgusted and sick of myself.
I did get a haircut today.
it’s pretty cute.
But back to the issue—basically we may get evicted due to something stupid that I and Jer’s brother did.
And..maybe this just brings to the forefront the problems jer and i have had.
god knows, i love that boy so much. but i feel like we dont appreciate each other. we are always snappy and pissed at each other for something stupid. to be honest, im no perfect girl but jer can be extremely mean for what i view as nothing. and that just makes me a bitch in return.
So, I was sincerely considerin breaking up (or going on a break) with him after we got back from LA. should I do it? or should we just go back to everything being ok until the next fight? I am so confused. At what point is a relationship more trouble than it’s worth?
